10. Resolve to give the finger to every member of the Weight Watchers Posse
or any other eating disorder propagandist movement that starts talking that
rapid weight loss smack around this time of year.

9. Keep exercising because increasing the oxygen supply to the brain keeps
you sharp, and if you look a little hotter, well, that's nice, too.

8. Drink to excess with good friends whenever possible, but resolve to find
the line between stinking drunk and puking drunk and live on the stinking
drunk side forever more.

7. Fight for justice in line at the CVS. When a cashier says: "Next in
line, please," and you're next in line, but some broad with a Franklin
Planner and a head full of crazy ideas about how being anal retentive makes
her more important than you, make sure you say: "Excuse me, but I was next."
(It feels great!)

6. Help the elderly. Especially when they're trying to help you by ringing
you up at a retail store. If you wait for them to take your stuff off the
hangers, you're going to be in the store til you're elderly as well.

5. Resolve to stop using the letter K when you mean "one thousand." To help
others, adopt a bemused, "what the fuck are you talking about?" expression at
the utterance of Y2K, Y2K compliance, Y2K readiness or any of the other Y2K
expressions that tech geeks have cooked up to make themselves feel like the
Kool Klub for their special secret language. Ask them if they're ready to
grow up and join us in the realm of good English. (This also feels great, by the way.)

4. Fuck depression. No matter who you are, there is something out there
that will make you happy. Find out what it is and spend your time trying to
get it (as long as you're not endangering yourself or others.) instead of
sitting around thinking how miserable you are. If you're miserable, it's
your fault. Suck it up. Move ahead.

3. If you see a children hitting or harassing an animal, take 5 to tell them
why they shouldn't. You may spare the world a psychopath.

2. Listen to more music. If it soothes the savage beast, you know it's going
to chill you out, too, right? Try something different, like music from an
astrophysicist/storyteller/sex symbol who lists galaxies as her
co-performers. For details, check out this month's interview with Dr.
Fiorella Terenzi.

1. Read Cyrilmagazine. Live Cyrilmagazine. Be Cyrilmagazine...and by that I
mean, contribute to Cyrilmagazine. E-mail the Editor@cyrilmagazine.com for
submission guidelines and information