Ah, Halloween...goblins, ghouls, sex with a stranger at a masquerade ball. But on that last bit, a word of advice: Think twice. What's a treat in the moment could end up feeling like a trick the next morning!

Halloween, I vow to give you up never. You are far too fun. Some say you are for children, some say you are for Satanists, some say you're from the Druids. Research proves inconclusive, and a little boring. (But in case anyone is interested, http://users.nni.com/believer/History.htm will give you a start.)

Halloween, to me, is a chance to put on a costume and go out and play -- "real" life offers far too few opportunities for merriment. How can anyone in their right minds pass up Halloween?

Last year, I was a flapper. This year, I'll be a Freudian slip. I know there are plenty who favor costumes like werewolves, warty witches, and insert your favorite Star Wars character here, but I must confess to vanity and insecurity. No day of my life, not even Halloween, will I be able to make an effort to look monstrous. There are plenty of days when monstrousness overtakes me accidentally, in the form of water retention, bad hair days, and the like. I'm never going to go looking for ugliness. It will have to come and find me...and when it does, I won't be hopping out to any parties. I'll be in my room, curtains drawn, waiting it out, thank you very much.

Besides, werewolves, witches, and the products of George Lucas' imagination aren't really what's scary to me. I can think of a couple of things that terrify me, but how do you dress up as Rejection, or Failure? I can't fathom ways, so I'm off to trace a picture of Freud on my little white slip, and then it's off to the masquerade ball. And with any luck, maybe a scary movie so that I can grab the big strong arm of the cutie sitting next to me.

If you like the scary movie idea, but aren't sure which one to rent, check out this month's interview with Ingrid Pitt, star of Countess Dracula, and other horror classics. Just one of the tricks Cyril has pulled off to make this issue a treat.